Fatherhood is problematic under patriarchy & not every man has overcome that impediment to be loving & nurturant with their children. It was considered unmanly to be so.

My father, named Sylvester, was one of the aloof ones. He also worked 12 to 16 hours a day to support 19 kids. I have sweet moments with my dad from childhood but that changed when I came of age & rejected my parent’s conservative views on life.

The thing I am most grateful to him for is his implacable hatred of ridiculing other people, in particular Blacks (who he had grown up near) & undocumented Mexican immigrants (he was also undocumented all of his life).

He should be grateful to me for not ratting him out to my mother when he got nailed with a speeding ticket. But that’s another story.