“Be Muslim, but not too Muslim.

Be mildly Muslim, Not wildly Muslim.

Bring poetry to us, Keep prayer at bay.

Bring Biryani to us, Keep slogans away.

Faiz is Fine,

Indori is Good!

But you musn’t cross the line!

Stay where you should.

When you wear that topi, team with funky glasses.

When you wear that kurta, be aware of the masses.

The hijab is cool, Cos the west says so.

But Namaaz in protests? A strict NO NO.

Here’s the recipe for secularism,



Don’t come in the way of Pseudo Liberal pride.

When you take a step,

Say By your leave.

When you make a move,

Say May I please?

Say Aye Aye Sir!

Say Aye Aye Ma’am!

Aren’t you grateful, the government we blame?

We are magnanimous and kind and oh so nice.

We stood up for you,

Without thinking twice.

Now you listen and do what we say,

We are six years late, chose chaos in May.

But don’t you dare chide us on that ever,

Bow your head, be diplomatic, for God’s sake be clever.

Now come here buddy,

Here’s some templates to fill.

We will fight for you then,

And co-opt your win.”

~ The Proper Secular Liberal

–Papri Banerjee